living around a dying person, you have to tiptoe up the stairs, around the house. you have to feign ignorance at the person's suffering, try not to cry and instead put her in a corner of your mind. you have to bear the weary and disgruntled faces of relatives who visit, try to be of comfort and help when you can. you have to try to outrun the memories of the person when she was well, because they hurt so much when you see her in this state.
most of all, you have to bear the thought that there is a dying person sleeping in the room underneath yours, and there is nothing you can do to alleviate the person's pain.

Not all happy

Meanwhile, some Tanjung Bungah residents are appealing to the Chief Minister to reconsider his decision to make Penang a wireless state.
Housewife Grace Ang, 51, said she is not against such technology but she is against it blanketing the whole state.
“The technology is good but schools, playgrounds, residential areas and hospitals should be spared as we do not know of its side effects.
“Penangites should be given the choice to decide whether they want it or not,” she said during a forum with other residents at the Tanjung Bungah market, also on Sunday.
Ang said a Tanjung Bungah Anti-Wireless State Committee will soon be formed to to educate the residents about the issue through talks and campaigns.

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2009/1/18/nation/20090118191139&sec=nation

Eh, bodoh. Most hospitals now are wifi zones lah. Schools SHOULD have wifi in the first place. Scared playground and residential areas got wifi? Why? Scared your son download porn? Don't worry lah auntie, connection too slow to download lah. Who the fuck is gonna bring their fucking laptop to the playground in the first place? For fuck's sake! And you should worry more about the radiation or what-the-fuck-ever it is that's coming from your shiny microwave which you willingly bought if that's the issue. Penangites should be given a choice to decide whether we want to live around dungus like these. I should start a Penang Anti-Jackasses State Committee. People are bringing good technology to your bloody doorstep and you *manyswearwords* want to protest. I want to petition to deport these *swearwords* to Singapore.

Is it me or did the 8 become a 6?

I used to be able to wear an 8. My pants are mostly size 8's. The pair of jeans I'm wearing RIGHT NOW are 8's.
So why the fuck couldn't I fit into an 8 just now?
God.
It's hard to accept that I am now a big bum big thigh size 10.
Christ.
I still think that they resized the sizes. Denial is bliss!

Holy crap they made a doll out of Rob Pattinson!

http://www.bestweekever.tv/2008/12/09/now-you-can-have-your-own-robert-pattinson-doll/

The answer to right lane hoggers?

I think America's got it already. Bah.

http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/Insurance/InsureYourCar/left-lane-slowpokes-drive-you-crazy.aspx

Like I said, I would shit peas and corn for this man. I went to watch Twilight and when he came on screen, a shudder went through my spine. Extremely mesmerizing. And bedable.

So anyways, after the movie, to prolong the entire Rob Pattinson experience, I went to buy the book.

I swear, it was one of the most excrutiatingly embarrasing experiences (3E) in my life.

I had to go to the Young Adult Fiction section of the bookstore, which was filled with oh I don't know, High School Musical books my 13 year old cousins would read. I gritted my teeth and bit my lips to keep from laughing out loud at the thought of 'Here is Julia Tan, who likes to think that she enjoys slightly more thought-provoking and mature books, crawling her way through the Teen Section of the store to look for a book which it's film adaptation her Greek God just starred in.'

Oh the humiliation I go through for Mr Rob 'God' Pattinson!

I don't know if anyone else shares this habit, but I have an aversion towards cutting my toenails. I'm just damn lazy to do it, and when they grow too long, I have to keep on reminding myself to cut them. I end up purposefully forgetting to do so.
I mean, c'mon, they're toenails. Who the heck takes a close look at them anyhow? Unless you've got a toe fetish, that is. Which is, well, really weird.

Advice of the day:

After doing your business in the toilet, it is recommended that you zip up first before buttoning your pants, because if you button first, chances are you might forget to zip it and end up walking around with yo fly down.

This is a community service message.

my grievances

You know what really irks me?

Vehicles moving slowly on the fast lane. Buses, lorries, trucks, vans, beat-up cars that should have been made into scrap metal five years ago, etc. Even worse are those BMWs and Mercedes Benz thinking that just because they have a car that can go fast, they are eligible to use the fast lane although they're moving at 60kmh. Sucks. I think that there should be a ruling about going slow on the fast lane, since because they won't budge (even after flashing and honking), you gotta overtake on the slow lane and that is dangerous and seriously annoying.

Also, I can't stand lorries and trucks driving recklessly, weaving in and out of traffic. I understand that time is of the essence for them, but driving like a maniac when you're carrying a whole lot of furniture/chickens/rubbish just won't do! Seriously, like someone I know said, they're garbage drivers by day and mat apong rempits by night.

Another thing that really, really annoys me is people flaming smokers, ala this celebrity blogger named Xia Xue (sia suey?) and an ex-manager of mine. I understand that smoking in air-conditioned rooms suck, but if there are five smokers and ONE non-smoker in a room, I guess that majority wins. Too fucking bad for you. Wear a mask next time and bring an extra bottle of cheap perfume with you.

All this anger stems from the flaming I hear from non-smokers. For example, in my previous workplace, I would smoke in the corridor outside my office. Once, after smoking, I went back to my cube and my manager sitting next cube to me decided to announce to half the office that SOMEONE (duh, it was me, bitch) was brainless for smoking, it stinks, it smells, it's the end of the world, etc. She then proceeded to spray some aerosol.

I wanted to blow smoke in her face. Seriously. As much as I dislike blowing smoke into people's faces, I just wanted to do that to her. I didn't smoke in front of her. I didn't even smoke anywhere near her. My fault was that I was smelly. I smelt of smoke as one would smell of pork oil after sitting next to a char koay teow stall. A colleague mentioned that she was breast feeding, and that she has a baby back home. Your baby's at home, isn't it? I didn't smoke around your baby, did I? I didn't even smoke around you, bitch. How did I harm your health? I don't see you condemning the guy with very bad b.o. for half the office to hear. Isn't very bad b.o. worse?

You know, if they lived 50 years ago, they'd all be smoking. I believe that it's the recent campaigns against smoking that made people jump on the bandwagon and condemn smokers. Face it, we all jumped on bandwagons. Difference is, your bandwagon don't smoke. Ours do.

These non-smokers say that it's bad for health, that smokers are senseless for smoking around non-smokers, that they don't wanna die just because someone else smoked, etc etc. I feel that they've created an elitist stance against smokers. Just because we smoke, that don't make us any dumber. I fucking know that it's bad for my health. But then again. so's driving! It stresses me out unbearably. and we know that stress = bad juju. Cars also emit gases that is harmful for our health and environment, and because of cars (or rather, bad drivers), a lot of fatal accidents happen. More than people dying from second hand smoke, I'd think. I don't see these pompous asses campaigning about banning bad drivers, banning cars, banning people who drive slowly on the fast lane.

So yeah, before this Xia Xue so scathingly condemned smokers, she should have comtemplated about her own driving abilities, or the driving abilities of those around her. She could have inadvertently caused a few hundred other people's stress levels to go up, thus leading to a higher risk of stroke.

But you can't win them all. A justified argument against my opinion is that you need to drive. You don't necessarily need to smoke. Screw you, take the goddamn bus. Humans should just commute around in plastic bubbles.

However, I would still respect you if you told me nicely to not smoke around you. Start holding your nose and saying nasty things, I won't just blow smoke in your face. I'd get other people to do that too.

Also, drive on the slow lane if you want to drive slowly. And next time you stop your car right next to an eaterie full of people, remember that the gas from your exhaust is harmful, so kindly turn off your engine.

The end.

I wanted to write something more profound after months of not blogging, but since I haven't fallen so damn sick since mid of last year, I'll blog about this instead.

Falling ill sucks. Body aches, sore throat, pain in eyeballs, etc. But the upside is I get VIP treatment. Heh heh.

Also, I haven't left the house in 24 hrs, since I came home from the clinic yesterday. Hoho!