Here's a recap of 2010.

I broke up with my boyfriend of three years. I'm loving the freedom as well as the boredom that ensued. We're still great friends, at least I hope we are. I'm not ready for any relationship yet, and I don't see myself being ready in the near future. By the time I'm actually ready, I might look like this:



But it's cool. I'll just have to pick up table penis. Tennis.

I went to England to visit my sister, and I'm determined to do my Masters there. Hopefully write a masterpiece while I'm at it as well. Great dreams I have.

I won in a group office pool competition! And I really suck at the game! I guess some people suck even more.

I broadened my horizons and experienced new feelings with new people, which did not end favourably. But we live and we learn.

I got another tattoo.

I went on a trip to Langkawi with my besties and drank copious amounts of beer.

I went chasing after a Korean actor in Changi airport and got into a scuffle whilst trying to get his hand print, all the time wondering what the hell I was doing.

I made a promise to myself to try to meet new people every weekend. So far, the going's been good. It's fun to meet random strangers and talk and drink. Like that time during Oktoberfest where we met this old German guy. Really random.

My best friend gave birth to a beautiful boy, who will turn 1 in less than three months! Here's a picture I stole from her Facebook:



I had my first ever surprise birthday party, and my friends damn near scared the shit out of me. I was so happy I almost cried. Could have been the aftershock, but meh, it was all good.

Christmas gets less and less exciting every year. I suppose it will stay that way till my sister has kids. Children are so much more excited about fat men in red suits and a green tree with boxes underneath. Christmas made me want to be a child again - I remember sitting on the porch with my parents, drinking reindeer shandy, and waiting for midnight to put baby Jesus in the nativity set we had. What happier times.

I found that I lost something dear to me, and it's true how they say you don't realize what you have till you lose it. It's the ship that I wish I had got on, even for a day.

I had my fourth trip to Korea and absolutely loved it, so much that I'm considering actually working there. That would make my mum very, very happy. I had my soberest New Year's eve ever since I discovered alcohol. I also 'upgraded' my tattoo, and I'm already wondering what I should get for my next one.

And now I'm back to work! Oh wait, there's that Siem Reap trip next weekend. Heh heh. Beautiful start to 2011. One year left to the end of the world, according to my sister (who badly wants to pair me up with a friend who has four Ks for his initials). Her randomness is absolutely uplifting. She should realize how much happiness she brings to our lives and STOP WORRYING ABOUT THINGS.

Tonight, I will drink to a great 2010, and an even greater 2011. May you smile a lot this year.

More dreams

More randomness. I dreamt of being somewhere in America (because that's where things like this happen), wide-leaved trees, and a small town. I dreamt of being inside a random old man's house, and there was this wicked strong wind blowing outside. He asked us (there were several of us, although I cannot remember if I actually know these people in real life) to go inside the tornado shelter underground because the wind was so strong it was ripping young trees off the ground. The shelter was connected to his neighbour from across the street's shelter. Then I woke up, mumbling something like 'Ignore.' Weird. Just had to put this down in words, because I will forget about it.

How I ended up dreaming of being on a cruise ship and getting stranded on a rock, almost being eaten by a bright blue Mako shark, and a hot Italian guy saving me and serving me dinner on said cruise ship.

Earlier in the day:

I was marking an essay my 10-year old student wrote about his holiday. He spent it on a cruise ship with his family.

I was looking through some Facebook profiles, and came across this Italian dude who looked like an Adonis. Also had pictures of his fab body in speedos. Nice.

The shark was totally random. Bright blue, at that.

I've always had a pet peeve with the term 'lai sa sam', loosely translated as 'dirty discharge' from Hokkien. In many cultures and religions, the female menstruation is regarded as unclean, dirty, et cete-fucking-ra. Okay, it's blood. It's just blood. It's not like we're excreting shit from our vaginas. Now that's dirty. Shit's dirty. You die from eating shit. I've yet to hear of anyone dying from consuming menstrual blood.

I wonder where this idea of lai la sam came from. Was it because men didn't fancy the idea of having sex with a woman who was bleeding from her vagina, and were so frustrated that they had to abstain from sex for a few days every month that they decided to term this very natural phenomenon of the female body as dirty? Or did women have worse PMS back then? Suffer the men.

Granted, a pad full of blood is not exactly a sight to behold, but neither is an underwear with skid marks, or a toilet bowl full of shit. Personally, I'd prefer looking at blood to shit.

There are times when you clench your fists and hold them high in the air atop a mountain in your head and shout, "I will not give in!" only to find yourself in a deep ravine the next day because you did.

I've been listening to Rachel Yamagata's 'I Wish You Love' the entire morning, and it brings me back to a cold winter's night, a smoke, lost hope, and the anxiety of seeing someone again.

I got to thinking yesterday, and I came up with an analogy: love and relationships are like ships. Some you get on, find that it's not what you like, and get off at the next port. Some you are comfortable with, and you know you'd brave storms and hurricanes on it because it's a good ship. You'd fix it if it leaks, paint it when its colours fade. Some are big ass cruise ships, with a pool and all. Some throw you off board with a life jacket. Some throw you off board without one. Some you'd rather jump off of.

And then there are those you should have gotten on, but you didn't, or rather you screwed it up by buying the wrong damn ticket or something, and you can only watch and wave as it passes you by.

I remember questioning myself with another friend four years ago. I told him that I wondered if I'd still be shouting at the players during World Cup matches four years from then, because I'd be 25 and older. He replied that it's not you stop having fun because you grow old, you grow old because you stop having fun.

I guess he had faith in me, because I think I'm louder now. Go Brasil!!!!!!!

Whenever I read anything in English or Malay (and to an extent, French), I can imagine the sound of the word in my head. I can picture how my tongue would move in my mouth to make that sound.
But whenever I see a text in Chinese, all I hear in my head is white noise. Kinda like fshhhhhhhhhffffshhhhhhfssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhffffffffshhhhhhhh. Dang.

So, what does 'piri' mean in Juspeak?

Piri is basically a chirpy 'Hi!'

Piri-piri, on the other hand, is more of a cry of success. You go 'piri piri!' after surviving a gruelling day of work.

Anyhullabaloo, singledom is an exuberance of freedom. When I want to go out, I'll call out everybody and see if anybody's free. When nobody is, then I'll just stay home and sulk. I don't have to commit to any single person, and I'm lucky that I have awesome family, friends and colleagues.

The best thing is, after much contemplation, I'm not afraid of ending up alone at 50. Easily said when I'm still young, and most of my friends are still single. However, being alone is fine, because I won't be lonely. I'll always have Stephen King, Haruki Murakami, Roald Dahl and etc. to keep me company.

And I hope that Corsica has a nunnery. Or an old folk's home.

Bagus, next month World Cup starts. Six-hour time difference. Time to stock up on sleeping pills, sleep at 7pm and wake up at 2.30am for the matches. Yahoo! Go Brazil! Go North and South Korea! Go Malaysia! Malaysia boleh!