Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Because I didn't manage to submit my poem in time...

... for class, here it is.


i watched your shadow

in the long evening sun

golden and black

i heard your laughter

as your shadow grew wings

and flew away

when the sun went down

we walked

when your skin turned blue

we walked

when my skin turned cold

we walked.

My hand in your pocket

you spoke of great things

i smiled and nodded

don’t burn out

keep your shadow

don’t burn out.

Friday, March 2, 2012

On smoking habits

Who else does not drag their first puff of a cigarette, but instead, after lighting it, immediately expels the smoke? I don't remember when I first started doing this, nor the reason. I've been smoking for so many years. It's one of those habits you acquire along the way, like keeping your lighter in the cigarette box, or always having a spare box at home, just in case.

When I started smoking, I was so afraid that the smell would stick to my fingers, so I devised a new way of holding my cigarettes. I'd hold it like a joint, but inversely, so the burning end would be facing me, then I'd turn my hand around so that my three remaining free fingers would be cupping the side of my chin whenever I took a drag. Sure it looked ridiculous, and sure a number of people commented on it. The exes I went through during that period were not particularly fond of it, but did I care? Anyhow, I realized that my mom wouldn't sniff my fingers, so I stopped doing this eventually.

I used to hold the lighter well away from my face when I lit it up, then slowly brought the flame to my cigarette. Pretty sure my close friends would remember that habit, because they still bring it up once in a blue moon when we're all talking about my peculiarities. I guess I've always had a fear of getting my eyelashes singed off by an unruly flame. I also stopped doing this after a while. It's not very effective when there's a strong wind blowing, and it's a waste of lighter fluid.

I chain-smoke when I'm in a social situation, which is why I tend to be a hermit.

And contrary to popular belief, I will quit smoking one day. Someday.