Monday, December 22, 2008

Is it me or did the 8 become a 6?

I used to be able to wear an 8. My pants are mostly size 8's. The pair of jeans I'm wearing RIGHT NOW are 8's.
So why the fuck couldn't I fit into an 8 just now?
It's hard to accept that I am now a big bum big thigh size 10.
I still think that they resized the sizes. Denial is bliss!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Like I said, I would shit peas and corn for this man. I went to watch Twilight and when he came on screen, a shudder went through my spine. Extremely mesmerizing. And bedable.
So anyways, after the movie, to prolong the entire Rob Pattinson experience, I went to buy the book.
I swear, it was one of the most excrutiatingly embarrasing experiences (3E) in my life.
I had to go to the Young Adult Fiction section of the bookstore, which was filled with oh I don't know, High School Musical books my 13 year old cousins would read. I gritted my teeth and bit my lips to keep from laughing out loud at the thought of 'Here is Julia Tan, who likes to think that she enjoys slightly more thought-provoking and mature books, crawling her way through the Teen Section of the store to look for a book which it's film adaptation her Greek God just starred in.'
Oh the humiliation I go through for Mr Rob 'God' Pattinson!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

I don't know if anyone else shares this habit, but I have an aversion towards cutting my toenails. I'm just damn lazy to do it, and when they grow too long, I have to keep on reminding myself to cut them. I end up purposefully forgetting to do so.
I mean, c'mon, they're toenails. Who the heck takes a close look at them anyhow? Unless you've got a toe fetish, that is. Which is, well, really weird.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Advice of the day:

After doing your business in the toilet, it is recommended that you zip up first before buttoning your pants, because if you button first, chances are you might forget to zip it and end up walking around with yo fly down.

This is a community service message.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

my grievances

You know what really irks me?

Vehicles moving slowly on the fast lane. Buses, lorries, trucks, vans, beat-up cars that should have been made into scrap metal five years ago, etc. Even worse are those BMWs and Mercedes Benz thinking that just because they have a car that can go fast, they are eligible to use the fast lane although they're moving at 60kmh. Sucks. I think that there should be a ruling about going slow on the fast lane, since because they won't budge (even after flashing and honking), you gotta overtake on the slow lane and that is dangerous and seriously annoying.

Also, I can't stand lorries and trucks driving recklessly, weaving in and out of traffic. I understand that time is of the essence for them, but driving like a maniac when you're carrying a whole lot of furniture/chickens/rubbish just won't do! Seriously, like someone I know said, they're garbage drivers by day and mat apong rempits by night.

Another thing that really, really annoys me is people flaming smokers, ala this celebrity blogger named Xia Xue (sia suey?) and an ex-manager of mine. I understand that smoking in air-conditioned rooms suck, but if there are five smokers and ONE non-smoker in a room, I guess that majority wins. Too fucking bad for you. Wear a mask next time and bring an extra bottle of cheap perfume with you.

All this anger stems from the flaming I hear from non-smokers. For example, in my previous workplace, I would smoke in the corridor outside my office. Once, after smoking, I went back to my cube and my manager sitting next cube to me decided to announce to half the office that SOMEONE (duh, it was me, bitch) was brainless for smoking, it stinks, it smells, it's the end of the world, etc. She then proceeded to spray some aerosol.

I wanted to blow smoke in her face. Seriously. As much as I dislike blowing smoke into people's faces, I just wanted to do that to her. I didn't smoke in front of her. I didn't even smoke anywhere near her. My fault was that I was smelly. I smelt of smoke as one would smell of pork oil after sitting next to a char koay teow stall. A colleague mentioned that she was breast feeding, and that she has a baby back home. Your baby's at home, isn't it? I didn't smoke around your baby, did I? I didn't even smoke around you, bitch. How did I harm your health? I don't see you condemning the guy with very bad b.o. for half the office to hear. Isn't very bad b.o. worse?

You know, if they lived 50 years ago, they'd all be smoking. I believe that it's the recent campaigns against smoking that made people jump on the bandwagon and condemn smokers. Face it, we all jumped on bandwagons. Difference is, your bandwagon don't smoke. Ours do.

These non-smokers say that it's bad for health, that smokers are senseless for smoking around non-smokers, that they don't wanna die just because someone else smoked, etc etc. I feel that they've created an elitist stance against smokers. Just because we smoke, that don't make us any dumber. I fucking know that it's bad for my health. But then again. so's driving! It stresses me out unbearably. and we know that stress = bad juju. Cars also emit gases that is harmful for our health and environment, and because of cars (or rather, bad drivers), a lot of fatal accidents happen. More than people dying from second hand smoke, I'd think. I don't see these pompous asses campaigning about banning bad drivers, banning cars, banning people who drive slowly on the fast lane.

So yeah, before this Xia Xue so scathingly condemned smokers, she should have comtemplated about her own driving abilities, or the driving abilities of those around her. She could have inadvertently caused a few hundred other people's stress levels to go up, thus leading to a higher risk of stroke.

But you can't win them all. A justified argument against my opinion is that you need to drive. You don't necessarily need to smoke. Screw you, take the goddamn bus. Humans should just commute around in plastic bubbles.

However, I would still respect you if you told me nicely to not smoke around you. Start holding your nose and saying nasty things, I won't just blow smoke in your face. I'd get other people to do that too.

Also, drive on the slow lane if you want to drive slowly. And next time you stop your car right next to an eaterie full of people, remember that the gas from your exhaust is harmful, so kindly turn off your engine.

The end.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I wanted to write something more profound after months of not blogging, but since I haven't fallen so damn sick since mid of last year, I'll blog about this instead.

Falling ill sucks. Body aches, sore throat, pain in eyeballs, etc. But the upside is I get VIP treatment. Heh heh.

Also, I haven't left the house in 24 hrs, since I came home from the clinic yesterday. Hoho!

Monday, September 15, 2008

I went for dinner at a kopitiam and because it was packed, I sat next to these three youngsters. Two girls and a guy. The next 20 minutes were excrutiating, I wanted to stab them with my spoon.
First off, the two girls spoke with accents. One of them spoke with an awh-ful English accent, while the other was trying (poor soul) to pull off an American one.
The English accent girl sounded slightly authentic, as if she grew up in England. Till she said that 'Oh in Russia the people overthrew the monarchy and killed their king. In England, the people never did such a thing.'
And I'm not even English. Thank you Edward Rutherfurd for writing London. I've learnt a lot.
Aiyoh, you nono England history don't talk so much laaaah....... Your mouth must be so tired trying to immitate the stiff upper lip riiiight.... Cannot shy ar...... pretending to be foreign but don't know jackshit......
The other girl was just .. sad. I label her as one of those who speak with an accent after a 2 hour transit. Oh, she also doesn't really fancy Mousy Dong. Thanks for sharing, twat.

Monday, July 14, 2008

What I miss most about student life is skipping class and waking up to the click clack of mahjong tiles. Going downstairs knowing that lunch will be ready. Alternating between playing dota against AI (yes very sad I know but screw yooooouuu!!), watching something on channels 551/552/555/556 or taking a nap.
Which is why I love public holidays. Rotting at home is da bomb!!

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Driving in Penang, Part I - Motorbikes.

I've been meaning to blog about this for a few months now but didn't really get down to it till today. Here goes.
Driving in Penang is a real asshole. It's one of the worst things on earth, I imagine. If there's one reason to ban motorcycles, it's Penang motorcyclists. They weave in and out of traffic, think they're invincible and carry a trillion motorists' curses on their back. If you bang them, you're wrong. If they bang you, you're wrong too. Catch-22 at its sweetest.
They never indicate, they wait right in front of the line at traffic lights and when the light turns green, they take their own sweet time to move. They ride in the middle of lanes like they are driving trucks, they carry one passenger, 4 children and an ironing board all at the same time. They jump lights, they get violent on you, they gang up on you, the list goes on. You really, really think, where are the police? If their excuse is they can't catch these motocyclists, then I would like to get me a motorbike, go around robbing people knowing that Hey, the police won't be able to catch me. I'm pretty much kingpin! Stupid excuse. However, the police aren't entirely to blame, although if law enforcement was more stringent like in other countries especially the superkiasu one down south, these errant motorcyclists wouldn't even dare to carry a kettle whilst riding.
Continuing on the train of thought, the police aren't entirely to blame. It's the mentality of these people who break the law and have entirely no regard for other motorists. They have the brain of a chicken. Yes, it's true and proven. These people are dumb. To those law abiding, sane motorcyclists, hallelujah! you're one of the few.
They're talking abt enforcing seatbelts for the backseat, I suggest that these people come to Penang, take a look at the motorcyclists carrying 5 pillon riders plus a ladder or what have you, and decide which they should enforce first: seatbelts or law for motorcyclists.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

As you grow older, things begin to change. A few years back, someone wrote me a romantic poem titled 'For Julia.' Now, the only thing I get which is titled 'For Julia' is a 54-page attachment regarding some fuddy duddy terms I don't understand.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

A few months after the hype, I've finally been brainwashed by our local radio into liking and even downloading the song Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis. And I can't stop listening to it, dammit!
Work's so far been trainingtrainingtraining, and it feels like school!

we're one and each other

Monday, June 2, 2008

My first day of work and I actually forgot to bring my handphone. God.
Genius Tan indeed.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

I start work in less than 10 hrs, and this means no more sleeping at 3am and waking up past noon. Woe! It's exciting though, but lotsa people tell me that very soon I'll be so sick of it. Oh dear. Let's just enjoy the feeling of anticipation for now, and dread it later.
No more lotsa things, eg. afternoon naps, slacking around (which I've been doing for the past month), spending like money drops from heaven, etc etc. Shucks.
On a side note, this trip to KL was quite fun despite a few worries from someone who was afraid that I might be bored. I got to watch a guy down 10 bottles of vitagen without puking, with a sort of agreement that next time he'd try to down 15. It's not easy, downing lotsa vitagen. Guaranteed diarrhea, if not immediate puking.
Best of all, I spent the weekend with the most precious, most patient darling, and I couldn't be any happier.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

USMA is so fooking retarded. I called up to ask about my results and I got transferred 4 times, twice to the same guy who gave me the wrong extension. He sounded like he just woke up. Totally spoilt my morning, I felt like screaming at them.


And I still haven't got my results. Technical problem, apparently. GOD.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

And it's just hit me at 4.15am, more than a month after classes have ended, that my varsity life is over. That there won't be anymore studying per se for me from now on. That USM's flown past like a passing plane, when it felt like only yesterday that I first stepped into campus. Those little desks and little chairs, adieu! This is so surreal, I've just realized how much life evolved around the certainty of semesters. Now I'm semesterless and it's rather bizzare. I have this great urge to get a job as soon as possible. All this slacking around knowing that I'm not skipping any classes is actually very strange.
On a side note, Darjeeling Limited is a brilliant movie. 5 stars out of 5.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

It was like watching a personal concert, the band playing all my favourite songs. We were at New World Park tonight and there was this rock band a-playin', and boy were they good! For a band to pull off Black Magic Woman, they have my love. It was a pity that we were the only people really watching, somehow New World Park was devoid of audience tonight. Must've been because it was Wesak night and people were probably busy with the procession, but that band deserved more appreciation than just 3 people clapping.
From Like A Stone to Mr Brightside, it was brilliant. If only they had played some Silverchair and Muse, but oh, Black Magic Woman! it was good enough.
Truly a night to remember!

Friday, May 16, 2008

I can't write. I just can't. I can't think of anything to write about, coming from someone who used to post an average of 1 post every 2 days from January-May last year. I guess when you're alone and bored, your mind has p-l-e-n-t-y of time to wander around.
Hopefully this isn't permanent. For the time being, I'll just write whatever comes into my head first.
At the moment, I'm thinking about going to England for a holiday (how the fuok am I going to do that?).
Looming over that thought is the interview tomorrow morning (what the fuok am I going to say?).
Why am I still awake? Why is it so hard to fall asleep at night? whywhywhywhywhy

By jove, I might've lost the skill to bitch and moan in entire sentences!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

sometimes looking through old pictures suck.
memories long lost resurface once more.

Don't you just love looking back at old pictures?

I want you to check out the hair colour. omg.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Although I didn't go for the water festival at the Burmese temple (which I should have, ach!), I got splashed at anyway whilst walking back to my house (I live a stone's throw away from the temple). There were many revellers all along the street outside my place, as in I don't believe I've ever seen such a large gathering of foreigners in Penang before. Made me wonder at the amount of foreign workers we have here in Penang itself.
Anyways back to the story.
Suspecting nothing, I was heading back to my house when this guy rushed at me and half-drenched me. Damn near pissed myself. A stranger rushing at me is not something I encounter everyday. So okay, shocked but still alive, I continued walking. Halfway reaching my house, another guy casually tossed water at me. It was somewhat good fun once I realized that they meant no harm.
Note to self: Next year, during the festival, join it, or avoid walking home if getting drenched is not on the agenda. If walking home is necessary, expect to get drenched anyhow and do not wear a white shirt for it will attract unwanted attention from people holding water bottles.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

It was very much a night like this - a cold, sleepless night spent pondering on my future, worrying about tufts of air. Haven't been inspired lately, and those few ideas running about in my head are usually eaten up by exam monsters. In a few weeks my final finals will be over, and there won't be any more days of perpetual slacking. I've been pretty much doing that for the past 22 years of my life anyhow, so a change would be good I suppose.
But anyways, back to the main idea. It was very much a night like this, wondering if the job applications would fall through, that I decided to find out how to apply for my Masters. So I crept out of the warm bed, sat in front of the computer and Googled. I landed in the UM website, and clicked to apply online. Seemed pretty easy. Or so I thought ...
First step, select type of course. Sure! Second, fill in personal details. Fine. Third step, course particulars. Ok. Fourth step (oh what the fuok), fifth step (aw c'mon), sixth step and so on ... I even had to write a sypnopsis of what I want to base my research on. Fine, I can do that. Just a few lines. But here was the final clinch that made me click on the ruby red X on the top righthand corner of my screen with vehemence.
After filling in everything that was required (which took quite some time), I had to print it out (no problem), I had to fork out money for the form (necessary), and I was also required to submit a 1500 word essay regarding my research, including references and so on.
After all that time spent on filling in my particulars, you tell me that you need an essay.
A 1500 word essay.
1500 words.
Fuck. you.

I say give me my chance to prove myself at work. I know that it will be tough, but I feel that it's time. Besides, the thought of 100-page essays gives me the runs.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Suddenly I feel like I'm on a train bound for nowhere. I know I gotta get off sometime, but I keep putting it off. It's not too bad, it's warm and comfy. But you can't sit around too long without a direction, because it'd just keep on going nowhere. Either you get off, or you change the course of the train.

Monday, March 3, 2008

What's wrong with me???

I'm halfway through Desperation by Stephen King, and I can't even turn off the lights to go to bed. I'm that scared shitless. OK, if horror movies are horrible, you actually see them things on screen. But a book? It's ridiculous to be afraid! Julia Tan, snap out of this gutless wonder!

Friday, February 22, 2008

What's wrong with your name lah?

I find it very, very annoying when people put some sort of weird name for their Friendster or Facebook account (no offence to those who practice this, it's just my pet peeve). For example, there's someone who added me, her display name is 'Sukiz Vivi.' I'm still trying to figure out who the hell this idiot is, because she doesn't even have a proper profile photo. The only reason I approved her friend request was because she might have been a F6 schoolmate, but I'm gonna delete her after writing this post because it annoys the piles out of me everytime I see her name pop up on my Facebook newsfeed or whatever.
And for the record, the moniker 'jooleeyah' isn't weird. It's how my name sounds if you prolong the pronounciation of it, which is what basically everyone does.
So I'm off to delete this Sukiz Vivi, whoever she is.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Put the gun down, Mr Freckles ..

The construction next door is driving me absolutely mad. It goes like this: HAMMERHAMMERHAMMERHAMMER DRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLL (2 second pause) HAMMERHAMMERHAMMERHAMMER DRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLL (2 second pause) DRILLLLL DRILLLLL DRRRRIIIIILLLLLLLL FUCKMESHATAPALREADY and it starts at about half past nine in the morning all the way till evening. Best of, it's a Saturday! KILL ME ALREADY.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Just a thought.

Labels men give to their exes:

i) bitch
Actual meaning: She dumped me.

ii) slut
Actual meaning: She cheated on me.

iii) whore
Actual meaning: She cheated on me multiple times.

iv) She's a bitch and a slut and a whore
Actual meaning: She cheated on me with my best friend and left me for him.

The label women give to their exes:

Actual meaning: He's wrinkly and retentive, and best of all, he spews a hell loada shit.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Jump on the bandwagon!

Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them! (oh yeah.. you're not "popular" if you've slept with more than 6 guys.. you're a HOE)-- This is the 21st century, mate. A woman can sleep with 60 men if she wants to and just because you can't do anything about it, Mr. Prude, it don't mean she's a ho. Whores get paid. Women get laid. Dumb possesive shitheads. It's not cool to sleep around, but it don't mean that the woman's a ho, bro. Get it right.
Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.-- I'm supposed to be touched that he flirts around all day?
Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.-- Yeah, amongst many other things further down south.
Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.-- Meaning they'll do anything to get into your pants.
Guys hate it when you talk aboutyour ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest.-- Oh and we're supposed to like it when they talk about theirs? Piss up a rope.
Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.-- Didn't know that they are so emotionally insecure. I thought it was a traditional women's role.
Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.-- What? Excuse me? This is outrageous. The writer of this thing ought to be mutilated with forks. We can't talk about our guy friends? What?!?
Guys do get jealous easily.-- I agree. Finally, some logic.
Guys are more emotional than they'd like people to think.-- Mm-hmm, Mr. Emo. I hear ya.
Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!.. uh... nevermind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.-- Trust me, nobody, male or female, would appreciate such a sentence.
Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.-- Go for speech class or something. Quit whining about it. This isn't a Taiwanese drama.
A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.-- What bullshit. He likes you when he stops teasing you. Unless he's 12.
Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.-- Good for them!
Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.-- So stop thinking THAT much.
Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy's confused, then we're all confused.-- Boy, I'm confused.
When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."-- No, I think that he would actually mean it.
If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.-- This statement seems to say that men talk shit all the time, so when he starts talking serious, call the nuthouse.
If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes you.-- Erp. Maybe he likes my boyfriend.
When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, don't say you aren't. It makes them want to stop telling you because they don't want you to disagree with them.-- They should know that this reaction is out of humility, but everyone ought to be more indulgent in dispensing compliments anyhow.
When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.-- So .. nobody should look at another person for more than a second? Does this make any sense?
Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.-- Too bad.. (sore loser)
A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.-- Sigh .. we all do .. welcome to the real world.
Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.-- Too bad for them, really.
Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.-- REALLY? EVER LISTENED TO A FEMALE GROUP CONVERSATION?
Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.-- We ALL do. Quit making it sound so pitiful for men.
If you are going to reject a guy, just do it. Don't say they are like a brother or just good friends, it just hurts even more. Tell them that you aren't interested in a relationship and they will respect you.-- You know what? Sometimes they don't get it. And sometimes, they really are like a brother or a good friend.
Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.-- I think that men are maddeningly confusing and downright unpredictable too, but I sure as hell do not like it.
When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.-- That's really swell.
Girls, if u don't repost this within 1 hr then you will lose the guyof your life.-- Oh I'll repost this alright.
Guys if you don't repost this in one hr then you will lose the girl of your life.-- I dare you to repost this.
post this as:28 things most girls dont know. -- We don't know them because they're too primitive. Like caveman mentality, you know?

Gong xi gong xi!

Happy New Year to yoooouuuuu!
Welcome to my new blog.
As you can see, my blogsite is called EL Julia and not LA Julia because it sounds cooler.
Like El Paso, El Laberinto del fauno, El universo, I am very El cool-o and so on.
I swear it was not my ignorance of the Spanish language that I typed El when I should of typed La.
More to come.