Tuesday, January 18, 2011

My phobia of millipedes have worsened so much that now I have to resort to parking at the multi-storey car park at work because the outdoor parking area at my building is simple INFESTED with them.

I always thought that as I grew older, these phobias would lessen. Just like my phobia of the dark and my phobia of ghosts. Now, I only get seriously creeped out if I read a Stephen King book or watch a mildly scary movie (I don't even bother watching those really scary ones, I just end up reading the subtitles). I used to be unable to sleep on my own or stay alone at home. At least, now I can. Most of the time anyway.

But millipedes. This phobia has grown absurdly worse. I blame it on my sister, who infected me with this phobia as a kid. She was the one who was afraid of them first, then she made me afraid of them too, somehow. It's her fault anyway because she's older.

I used to be able to go running about on a grassy field, blissfully unafraid. Now I avoid grass (which probably hide a few thousand millipedes) like the plague.

I recognise the scent they emit if you disturb them, and if I ever smell it around me, my hair will rise and I will start to mildly hyperventilate. When I used to park at the outdoor car park, every morning without fail my palms would get sweaty and my heart would race to 200 beats a minute. I'd have to close my mouth so that my heart wouldn't jump out.

So I predict that by the time I turn 50, I would never leave my room on the 101st floor, and if I ever do need to go out, I'd be walking on specially made stilts. Either that, or I'd have migrated to the North Pole.

And oh, my ultimate worst nightmare: millipedes with wings. God. If they ever evolve wings, just kill me.

Monday, January 17, 2011

This is pretty amazing. I know a guy who knows me so well, he can help me recall a lost memory. An example is, I was telling him that I'm paranoid about people chopping me into little pieces to make char siew pau (which is true, by the way). Then he said he's afraid of that as well, but he'd probably be dead by the first chop. And I replied, you never know, like that movie with movie with whatshisname (I couldn't remember the movie title nor the name of the actor), and I told him that my memory is very bad these days. And he immediately replied, "That Jerry Butler movie?"

Wow. It could have been so many movies and he got it right. And I don't recall ever telling him that I watched that movie. I'm still reeling with amazement. People are so funny sometimes.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Those little things I hate:

Bad breath.

Morning breath.

People who don't brush their teeth before bed. Gross. The only time I don't brush my teeth before bed is when I'm piss passed out drunk.

If you yawn in my direction. Refer to bad breath.

If you sneeze in my direction, after which I will give you the very evil eye.

Eye booger. Gross.

Nose booger. Gross.

Wiping eye booger and nose booger on things other than a tissue. Tissues were created for a purpose, use them!

Door handles.

Eye booger. Worth mentioning again because for some odd reason, I really, really find eye boogers disgusting. Mayhaps it's the greenish, yellowish, or whitish colour, which reminds me of pus. Mayhaps it's the sticky, gooey, texture. Anyhow, eye boogers are numero uno gross.


Millipedes. I hope that they all die fiery, torturous deaths.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Here's a recap of 2010.

I broke up with my boyfriend of three years. I'm loving the freedom as well as the boredom that ensued. We're still great friends, at least I hope we are. I'm not ready for any relationship yet, and I don't see myself being ready in the near future. By the time I'm actually ready, I might look like this:

But it's cool. I'll just have to pick up table penis. Tennis.

I went to England to visit my sister, and I'm determined to do my Masters there. Hopefully write a masterpiece while I'm at it as well. Great dreams I have.

I won in a group office pool competition! And I really suck at the game! I guess some people suck even more.

I broadened my horizons and experienced new feelings with new people, which did not end favourably. But we live and we learn.

I got another tattoo.

I went on a trip to Langkawi with my besties and drank copious amounts of beer.

I went chasing after a Korean actor in Changi airport and got into a scuffle whilst trying to get his hand print, all the time wondering what the hell I was doing.

I made a promise to myself to try to meet new people every weekend. So far, the going's been good. It's fun to meet random strangers and talk and drink. Like that time during Oktoberfest where we met this old German guy. Really random.

My best friend gave birth to a beautiful boy, who will turn 1 in less than three months! Here's a picture I stole from her Facebook:

I had my first ever surprise birthday party, and my friends damn near scared the shit out of me. I was so happy I almost cried. Could have been the aftershock, but meh, it was all good.

Christmas gets less and less exciting every year. I suppose it will stay that way till my sister has kids. Children are so much more excited about fat men in red suits and a green tree with boxes underneath. Christmas made me want to be a child again - I remember sitting on the porch with my parents, drinking reindeer shandy, and waiting for midnight to put baby Jesus in the nativity set we had. What happier times.

I found that I lost something dear to me, and it's true how they say you don't realize what you have till you lose it. It's the ship that I wish I had got on, even for a day.

I had my fourth trip to Korea and absolutely loved it, so much that I'm considering actually working there. That would make my mum very, very happy. I had my soberest New Year's eve ever since I discovered alcohol. I also 'upgraded' my tattoo, and I'm already wondering what I should get for my next one.

And now I'm back to work! Oh wait, there's that Siem Reap trip next weekend. Heh heh. Beautiful start to 2011. One year left to the end of the world, according to my sister (who badly wants to pair me up with a friend who has four Ks for his initials). Her randomness is absolutely uplifting. She should realize how much happiness she brings to our lives and STOP WORRYING ABOUT THINGS.

Tonight, I will drink to a great 2010, and an even greater 2011. May you smile a lot this year.