My sister and white pepper

This feels like Standard One. I'm going to describe my sister.

Her name is Josephine Tan. She is 30-1 this year. She just turned 30-1 last week, matter of fact. She used to bully me a lot as a child. She still bullies me slightly these days. She likes to hijack my computer, changing my Facebook status and stuff like that. That's why I must be careful and log out of my accounts when she's around. She also likes to prank call my friends and message funny stuff to them from my phone when I leave it unattended. She doesn't seem to grow up, which is good because this makes her fun to be around when she's not grumpy. She also calls me her pet, which is not true, because pets are animals, and I am not an animal. I probably shouldn't say anything nasty about her because she is going to read this, but her gas really smells. She comes up with random things, and creates her own words. People also say we are weird. I think she's the weirder one though.
My father is Big Joe, my sister is Small Jo and I am Little Jo. People give me stares when I call my dad Big Joe in public. But I am not going to talk about my father here because this is about my sister. She ought to get married soon and give me a niece/nephew and a big ang pau every year. My friends call her Auntie Jo, but they better be nice to her or else they're gonna get a small ang pau when she gets married.
That is about all. Thank you.