I got this from a cousin on Facebook:

"What if my ex says..." What would I answer in return?!!

So I decided to do it based on one of my exes I dislike.

1. What if my ex says "Why did you let me go?"
Coz you're fat and ugly and I was bored and myopic.

2. What if my ex says "I still love you..."
You can start a fan club.

3. What if my ex says "When did we last talk?"
That day, when you saw me with another guy.

4. What if my ex says "Will you go out with me?"
My eyesight's better now thank you.

5. What if my ex says "Do you still love me?"
Your butt had stretch marks. Are they still there?

6. What if my ex says "I cannot keep my promise to you"
Coming from you, it's nothing new.

7. What if my ex says "My friends say we don't look good together"
Like I said, you're fat and ugly. Even a llama looks better next to you.
Note: I apologize to all llama lovers out there. Llamas are incredible creatures. They spit.

8. What if my ex says "You have changed!"
Really, Einstein?

9. What if my ex says "Can we get back together?"
The day you take a gulp of my fart in your mouth and swallow it. The thought of your bulging mouth might soften my heart.

10. What if my ex says "Oh, I know what this is all about. You found someone else."
Actually, I did.

11. What if my ex says "Don't you realize? You are the one who hurt me!"
Fine then, start a hate club.

12. What if my ex says "How can you forget our memories?"
You weren't that memorable.

13. What if my ex says "I will always love you"
My dog lays eggs.

14. What if my ex says "Would you die for our love?"
Ima put a restraining order on you, mang.

15. What if my ex says "You jump, I jump...Remember?"
Oh you can go ahead and jump all you want. In a straight jacket. Behind padded cells. Careful, now.

16. What if my ex says "Kiss me to break the curse if I sleep for a hundred years"
Sweet dreams!

17. What if my ex says "What's the difference between me and you?"
I'm the person who shits. You're the shit coming out of my arse.

18. What if my ex says "I saw you last night with your boyfriend."
Why didn't you say hi?

19. What if my ex says "Without me, your life wouldn't be complete"
Eh don't so thick-skinned can or not you whore?

20. What if my ex says "Why are you doing this to me!"
Because I can, bitch.