On facial hair

See, I'm watching a show right now in which the main actor has the sexiest, sexiest facial hair growth. I wasn't really a big fan of facial hair before this. I guess it's because Chinese men who try to grow facial hair usually end up with six strands of hair on the chin. Very disturbing. Also, many of my friends who have graduated from six strands to twelve, tend to grow what I have found out to be a chin beard:

Chin beard, a.k.a. facial pubes

Looks embarrasingly like pubic hair, yes.

Men who have just the moustache tend to

a) Look like old men

b) BE old men

c) Look like pompous bourgeois asses

This example portrays all three options combined

So I've decided that my idea of perfect facial hair has to be not over the top, you know, and proportionate. Not too heavy on top, not too heavy on the bottom either. Keep it clean at the sides. Like this:

Bad boys so rock my world

Or this:

Boho-chic

The only exception to bottom heavy is:

Not unless you're Brad Pitt you don't

And, well, if you can't seem to grow any facial hair, do shave off those six strands because they kinda spell M-E-A-S-L-Y.