Monday, May 30, 2011

We can all dream...

I've decided to create a point system for when I choose a man, just for funs.

Height: 10 points for each 5cm taller than me. So, if he's 170cm, he gets 10 points. 175cm, he gets 20. And so on.

Body: 20 points if he is lean and mean, with a hint of body building. 10 points if he's just lean and mean. 5 points if he's skinny. -10 points if he's anorexic. -20 if he's got Arnie's hey-day body (over-the-top much). -50 if he's got a huge belly and much excess fat.

Hair: 20 points if he's got long-ish hair (which must suit him, of course). 10 points if he's got a mop on his head (which, again, must suit him). -20 points for a crew cut. They remind me of my neighbor.

Facial hair: 20 points if he's got a nice, well-trimmed set of mustache and goatee. 0 points if he hasn't got any. -20 points for chin beard or six strands of hair on his chin.

Hairiness on limbs: 10 points if he's evenly covered with hair. 5 points if it's only his arms and legs. 0 points if he's got even less body hair than what I've got.

Back hair: -5 points

Chest hair: 20 points for a comfortable carpet. 5 points for a meager covering. 0 points if none. -5 points if he's got six strands there which he refuses to a) cultivate more or b) shave off. -20 points if he's covered like King Kong.

Arse hair: -50 points. I know, I know, you can't help it and it's hard to shave there. But it's my point system and I'll rate it as I wish.

Use of facial products: 20 points for nice, sexy, musky aftershave. 0 points if none.

Self hygiene: 20 points if he showers twice or more times a day. -100 points if he showers only once in two days.

Drinking: 20 points if he drinks wine, brandy, whisky, or any of those, you know, manly drinks. 15 if he only drinks beer. 0 if he doesn't drink at all.

Smoking: 10 points. Period.

Tattoo(s): 50 points per tattoo (if nicely done). -100 points for tattoo of an ex girlfriend's name. -500 points if he's got Winnie the Pooh or some other cartoon character on his skin (especially on area above butt).

Personality: He can be a total airhead for all I care if he fulfills all those points. I've got brains enough for the both of us. However, I'll give him 100 points if he actually reads (Dan Brown not included. I don't know why, but I've got something against that guy) and listens to good old rock music (Hoobastank and Nickelback NOT inclusive).

You know, at the end of the day, the chances of me meeting someone who can score highly is pretty much non-existent. And yes, I've got a thing for hair.

Oh hot, cultured men, where art thou hiding?

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